Torture and surviving

What is torture and it’s purpose?

Any act that causes severe pain and or suffering. Torture can be physical or mental. Its intentionally done with the purpose of getting information. punishment. intimidation. and coercing,

In any situation torture is used is discrimination on any level

Torture is an instrument of power used to break down and devastate the person speaking against, fighting or standing up to abuser. Its the most effective tool used and is only used for power and control. Situations ranging from domestic violence to the government.

While torutre is usually used to gain information; its not its m,ain purpose. Torture is directed towards instilling and enforcing a sense of powerlessness and terror top the victim and/or sociaty. The process generates a situation designed to destroy physical AND psychological capabilities of survivors to function in viable situations.

2018 was my first year in hell. My ex of 9 years tortured me. I never refered that to torture before today. I called him a terrorist and i was at war. But never torture. Refer to i went to war with ther devil and came out with wings blog for the enitre store. From april 1, 2018- January 13, 2019. I was gaslit so many time over so many things (and also not well versed in narcissism yet) pretty much IT WAS ONE BIG GASLIGHT filled with a lot more. Only other way to describe it is. Soul rape. YES i hope that hurt. IT HURT to say it in therapy for the first time years ago. Still hurts to think those words. He was trying to kill me, I found the “hit list’ for me. 7-9 things listed to destroy me and make me suffer. Written by an ex best friend of mine.

Anguish squeezing in you chest

Cold as ice and heavy as a stone

Paralyzing as sleep

And dark as the abyss

Torture is

Desperate and fear

It’s not knowing how to trust

And having to learn again

How to live and to love

His not to be afraid or living

Methods of torture

  1. Environmental manipulation (sleep deprivation , isolation
  2. Pharmaceutical manipulation (hallucinatory or muscle paralyzing drugs)
  3. coercive merthods (forced observation of torture.
  4. somatic methods (beating rape mutilation, starvation, electric shockl, burns, suffocation, water boarding)
  5. psychological methods ( mock executions gaslighting)
Most of the trauma and stress of torture arise from the total experience. The incarceration and treatment, rather than the specific act of violence.

Physical and psychological effects of torture

The effects of torture are multidimensional and interconnected not 1 part of the victims life goes untouched The p[ysical pain and suffering from torture is sufferal and diminishes over time. Physical impairments that can result such as amputations, deafness, blindness, poorly healed fractures, diseases, maligances. All are a permanent reminder of the torture.

Psychological effects include

memory disturbance, difficulty concentrating, sexual dysfunction, chronic anxiety, ptsd, emotional irritability, social; withdrawl, loss in trust of others, flashback, fear of sleep, nightmares, depressions, feelings of betrayal, and phobias.

Now its very important to remember survivors of torture are healthy people who have been systematically subjected to intended to destroy their personalities, identity , confidence, and their ability to function sociably. Survivors may need assistance in understanding their experiance and help rebnuilding their identiy.

this is where i tell you about this on going, UNSTOPPABLE to my will power; SCREAMING FOR HELP. No one answers; torture. His name is Jacob Yarbrough. He was an acquaintance who saw me in a fraqial state and took advatange of that, brefriended me in November. He gaslit me the whole time and i thought it was my ex because he was coming around again *hints my fragail state* Christmas eve he showed me his true colors. At the time in the position i was in it was smarter for me to stay his friend and not make him and enemy because i was trying to get my custody of my kids. I took how much i could til Jan 9, 2021 thats when i went no contact in the middle of a gaslit. AND BY DIVINE TIMING, not planned. When he left the night before my childhood bestfriend from the neighborhood showed up with his friend. It was about 2am when i blocked him and went no contatct. (thats what your supposed to do when ending narcissist abuse.) He showed up at 7am raging and my kids were home and i was not opening the door. He was threating to burn the house down and all kinds of shit. Then he left and we all left. I checked the voicemail then and it was before he came to the door saying “idk whos truck this is but ima kill all of yall” (I HAVE PROOF OF ALL OF THIS) From that day til currently I have gotten an email, text, fake profile, fake emails, new numbers (i got 1 text with 3 numbers.) again. GOT PROOF, i changed my number a few times. Atleast 1 some days more than 1. I have been hack so evasively i felt physically violated. Stalked. Harassed. Gaslit. Smear campaign that i know about but not the specifics. Im pretty sure Im a narcissist but more. I have another blog with 200 screenshots and thats not even everything. I havent read most of them because then what he was trying to do would have worked. But i have read enough to know what was going on and his intentions. Everything ranges from missing me like a sister, its my fault hes broken, im a narcissist, he was going to break my psyche *direct quote* threats also rangen from death, identity with my social in a text, “burn klusterfck to the groud”

Hes a Psychopath. I call my ex a demon. Hks brain was literally broken (disassociate identity disorder) and on meth delusional. Jacob is doing this for joy. its sadistic.

I hate assuming but also when im sure im 99.9% right. Everyone i associate with has come in contact with him under another name, and pretty sure a clone page of me being used. Also faked messages between use. again these are assumptions but also again my intuition and current events all add up AND IM BAD AT MATH.




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