Strong and Confident : Part 1

“Strong and Confident,        The Breakdown,          and the Come Back”

 

 

The Good, Happy Days.

 

So, if you’ve read my life story you’d know, I’ve had my share of issues. If you haven’t, you might want to read that before this. And as a side note, that was just SOME of the major issues I’ve had. I didn’t mention all the hurt and betrayal from so many people; family included. Yes, I know you’re thinking – GET OVER IT, its life. Honestly, I agree. It’s my life that I got a custom to. Eventually I got tired of being used, abused and looking just plain stupid. Now, I was raised by a few very independent, strong-willed, outspoken.. don’t hold anything back type of women. I definitely had it in me somewhere, i just needed to find it. OH BOY!! When I did find the inner parts of each one of them i realized, i had a good bit of each and everyone of them; which was probably one of the best things that could have happened, but also, at times was bad. You have to remember, i am bipolar and was years before diagnosed and treated. I learned very early to try my best to control my “episodes.” I had many issues with attitude to later on just not caring at all. I will say though, for being a teenage female dealing with bipolar II, i handled it better than i thought.

Now just a little background of the type of person i really was. I was “THAT GIRL.” That girl everyone hated for no reason. That girl who people were intimidated by me, just by my looks. That girl who hung around mostly guys, and my “circle” stayed small when it came to girls. Of course, I got an untrue bad reputation, mostly because of my guy friends. I mean, what girl doesn’t sleep around with their guy friends. *sarcastic voice* Me, I didn’t. My friends were my friends and I dated out of my group of friends, but girls will be girls. I’m pretty, I get it; not to be conceited. They were insecure, and of course many of my friends liked me, but it would never happen. I was “one of the boys.” You had to be pretty special to catch my attention. I’m old school, traditional values type of person. I respect people, but in the same sentence; if it is the true, I don’t care if it hurts your feelings. I am open-minded, outspoken girl. Sometimes too outspoken. If you can embarrass me, you are pretty good. Not much does. I am a loyal person, and CANNOT stand a liar, cheater or thief. People can confide in me and not have to worry about it being said again. One I probably won’t remember and if I do, it just not my place to put your personal business out there to the world.

Lets sum this up in the easiest way possible. EVERY SINGLE friend I have ever had, whether we’re still friends or not as told me. “Summer, I seriously thought you were lying when you told me you were one of a kind, and I will NEVER meet another like you”.

Excuse my language, but true story – NO BULLSHIT, I don’t lie. Another good trait I have. I’ve been lied to my whole life, some of the lies I can’t fathom even why. I know the pain, so why do it? It honestly disgust me to hear someone constantly lie.  I can normally point out a shady person in 10 minutes of meeting them, and if i can’t eventually I figure it out, they just figured out a very good way of hiding it. To put it the best way I can without going into a drawn out detailed description. I am a straight up, outspoken, strong willed, and very opinionated. I don’t give a damn if i hurt your feelings, especially if it is true. I really don’t hold back unless I have to. Some situations you just have to be the bigger person, hold your tongue and respect someone. Pretty much, my saying for that is “fake it to make it” even if you don’t want to. I.E. Jobs, around kids, elders. I do have respect for people. I know I sound like a complete bitch, and I am. I admit it, but also I am the kindness, good-hearted person you will meet.

Tiffani, My rock- My BESTFRIEND.

 

Now, Tiffani didn’t have the best impression of me before actually meeting me; remember though, I had a bad reputation. Even after moving away for three years. We instantly became best friends. We were a lot a like and brought out qualities in each other that the other needed. To this day she tells me, first time she met me she would’ve never known I had the issues I have. I had the most confidence, I held my head high and didn’t sweat the small stuff. (which i still don’t to a point.) Of course, being my best friend and knowing me so well she was pretty persistent at trying to hook me up with one of her good friends. At first, I really wasn’t into it. I liked him, he was cool, we hung out a lot. I loved to chill with him but there was something inside of me holding it back. I liked him as a friend, just like the rest. He eventually got back with his ex-girlfriend and we didn’t talk for a couple months. Well wouldn’t you know this guy ended up being the love of my life. Tiffani was right, we were perfect for each other. Let me guess, “you’re young, you don’t know that for sure.” Haven’t you been paying attention to how I am with guys? Now, it wasn’t love right away type stuff. Actually it took me a while to really, REALLY, like him. We had that connection, it didn’t matter our moods, the second we seen each other it was better we smiled. Now, I’m still not in love yet, but it was weird and confusing. It wasn’t like any other guy in my past.

 

And this is where this post stops, because its theres a whole game changer that will be in the next post. Stay tuned, it will be coming soon.

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